Part of the fun when travelling in China is navigating the intriguing cultural differences, but there can be pitfalls. To avoid ending up with thousand-year egg on your face, mug-up on some basic etiquette before you go.

Escape

1/14

Go easy on lazy susan

If there is a lazy Susan at the table, don’t spin it like you’re at a meat raffle. Select from the dish closest to you and wait until the xiao long bao comes your way. Trying every dish is a casual courtesy and it will impress your hosts enormously if you eat adventurously and appreciatively. Some of those less familiar looking dishes often turn out to be the best you ever ate. (I’m talking about you beef balls with water chestnuts and coriander).

2/14

Wo Bao La

Many newbies to China have been caught out actually trying to finish a banquette. This will work against you and your waistline. If you’re ingesting the final mouthful of your mapo tofu with an empty plate in front of you, know that there’s another portion already on its way from the kitchen. Know that leaving a little bit of food on your plate indicates you have been adequately fed. If it really gets too much, mutter a “wo bao la” (“I’m full’), smile and rub your tummy.

3/14

The face

The concept of ‘face’ in China is really about being a pleasant and kind person rather than an obnoxious git. Don’t willingly embarrass people or make them feel awkward or uncomfortable. Try not to bang-on about yourself, talk over the top of someone else, or patronise anyone. Don’t yell, lose your temper, or even laugh too boisterously. Be patient and respectful – you’re the traveller in a foreign country.

4/14

Forget about noodle etiquette

In China, they were meant to be slurped. Same goes with soup - drinking from the bowl is something you’ll see. Put your bones on the table not on your plate (those tacky plastic tablecloths are there for a reason). Burp, if you like, but gently and not for attention.

5/14

Don’t eat beforehand

Lucky you if you get an opportunity to dine with Chinese people in China - prepare for a multi-course banquet and plenty of toasting. While you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously, there is some simple etiquette to follow. Some of the basic rules are riffs off western etiquette - like waiting for your host before starting the meal. Others are an about-turn and take a bit of getting used to.

6/14

Keep it simple

Finally, remember that attempting a goodbye hug and a kiss with your new-found Chinese friends will be awkward at best, slightly creepy at worst. Leave off all that touchy feely western stuff and stick with a fist-bump and a ‘zai jian’ (‘goodbye’).

7/14

Don’t split the bill

Especially if you’re the invitee. If you are the host expect to pay the bill. And no need to tip - this isn’t the US.

8/14

No skewering

Don’t leave chopsticks upended in the bowl (it looks like incense on a tombstone - a symbol of death), instead rest them on top of your plate or bowl or on the little chopstick holder if you have one. Don’t use chopsticks to skewer or spear food (or wrest the prawns from the fried rice). Much like knife and fork etiquette, don’t use chopsticks as drumsticks on the bowl or table and don’t point or gesticulate with them (or your finger for that matter). Remember, it’s no crime to ask for a fork. Better that than landing a slice of char sui pork in your host’s lap.

9/14

The perfect toast

Big Chinese dinners are infamous for their continuous toasting. Inevitably you will need to make a toast too. Friendship is a good starting point, and flattery will get you everywhere: “a toast to China, the most beautiful country in the world” will be met with hearty applause. “Gan bei”, the usual toasting refrain, means ‘good health’ or ‘bottoms up’. Contrary to the opinion of anyone who has ever been carried out of a Chinese restaurant in a state of inebriation, it’s not necessary to empty your glass every time you drink. Sipping is ok.

10/14

Chopsticks 101

One of the most important concerns sharing food from communal plates. Be sure to use the communal chopsticks, known as “gong kuai” or “public-use chopsticks” to retrieve food. Then use your own chopsticks (they’re usually a different colour) to eat from your plate. This form of etiquette became popular after the 2003 Sars epidemic (let’s hope it catches on elsewhere in a Covid-19 world).

11/14

No shoes, please

For starters, don’t wear your shoes into someone’s home. And if you notice shoes have been slipped off outside temples and businesses, follow suit. This custom has sprung from hygiene purposes – to avoid traipsing spittle and dog poo indoors on the underside of shoes, but it has evolved over time as a matter of etiquette. Some homes might have a basket of guest slippers. Slip them on.

12/14

When you meet someone

Don’t go kowtowing to everyone you meet – this isn’t imperial China. Simply smile, shake hands (or fist-bump Covid-style), and say ‘ni hao’. If you’re meeting older Chinese people you could bow, just your head, ever so slightly and dish out a more formal ‘nin hao’, but it’s a fine line between respectability and making a right fawning fool of yourself.

13/14

Exchanging business cards

Use both hands. Look at it. Read it. Remember that the surname or family name is written first and the given name second. If you’re at a business meeting, put it face-up on the table in a position pertaining to the card’s owner to help you remember names and titles. If you’re travelling for business, be sure to have your own business cards.

14/14

When giving and receiving

Use two hands – specifically the thumbs to the knuckle of the index fingers. This pertains to business cards, but also credit cards and cash when paying a bill at a restaurant or purchasing something in a shop. It is also a sign of respect when giving and receiving gifts (a big deal in China).